How to Make Elite Babies

Give your toddler the best start

Would you like to have kids some day? What if not every baby is born equal and that there is a secret formula to make elite babies?

I apologize in advance because the point of this post is to try and use probability to potentially give our future offspring a competitive advantage in life over their peers. But by the nature of the subject some parts of this article may be offensive to some.


The Birth Date Effect

13_05_soccergameThe University of BC published a study that shows January and February babies are twice as likely to become CEOs than those who are born later in the year.

The study investigated the birth-date effect in a sample of 375 CEOs from S&P 500 companies. Older students born earlier in the year are singled out as leaders throughout their school life. They also tend to do better than the youngest, who might be less developed.

This Relative Age effect (RAE) is well documented in the world of sports as well. In a hockey team the best 40% of the players will likely be born between January and March.

Early success is often rewarded with leadership roles and enriched learning opportunities. This leads to future advantages that are magnified throughout life. 🙂 Even the BBC believes there is evidence that children born in the Summer months suffer in school.


The Mixed Race Effect

13_05_weddingSome studies suggest mixed-race people are more attractive and disproportionately successful in many professions. According to Darwin’s hypothesis on heterosis, crossbreeding leads to offspring that are genetically fitter than their parents. Although mixed-race people make up a small proportion of the population, they are over-represented at the top level of a number of meritocratic professions. Halle Berry, Keanu Reeves (quarter Chinese,) Lewis Hamilton, Tiger Woods, Steve Jobs (half Arab), Just to name a few.  Not sure why I and many of my friends find mixed-race people attractive but studies suggest that good looking people do in fact earn more money.


The Naming Effect

Are some names more successful than others? Apparently yes according to the online job site TheLadders which analyzed the first names of their 6 million members against variables such as industry, salary level, and location.

They found that people with shorter names make more money than those with longer ones. The top 10, highest-paid, executive names earn, on average, 10% more than other names. And unusual names such as Apple or Moonbeam and names that sound African American such as Tyronne and Jamal were not viewed as positively compared to more common names like John and Susan.

They tested 24 pairs of similar names like Steve and Stephen, Bill and William, Sara and Sarah, etc. In all but one case those with shorter names earned higher pay.

They’ve concluded that every extra letter in a person’s first name may reduce his or her annual salary by $3,600.

They’ve even identified the top 5 highest paid female and male names in their study.

  • Female names: Lynn, Melissa, Cathy, Dana, Christine
  • Male names: Tom, Rob, Dale, Doug, Wayne

This isn’t the first study of its kind either. In 2011, LinkedIn reported that American CEOs do often have short names, or nicknames like Peter, Jack or Tony.


The secret formula for making elite babies


So to ensure that your future children will have the best possible start in life you just have to find a partner of a different ethnicity than yourself. Then get really frisky in April and May, and name your kids something like Cathy or Rob.

Then statistically your kid will have a better chance than most others to be top in their class, better leaders, more athletic, and make 6 figure income. 😉

And now you know the secret to making elite babies. As responsible and loving parents-to-be shouldn’t you at least try to give your future children gorgeous looks, and the highest probability for success?

I don’t mean to imply that one group of people is superior to another, or that attractive people don’t have to work hard for their success, or that Moonbeam is a dumb name. These studies could simply be statistical realities and NOT factors of causality.

And it goes without saying that attitude, education, temperament, grit, and work ethic will effect one’s life much more than the circumstances of their birth. But unlike those other factors which are dependent on upbringing, the initial circumstances of how one is brought into this world can never be changed, (except names can be legally changed I suppose.)

I don’t believe the results of the studies are conclusive, but if there is even a slight truth to their findings then it’s something interesting to think about isn’t it?

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05/22/2013 3:48 am

I wonder how much red shirting changes the birth month theories.

05/22/2013 3:52 am

Um…this post just made me giggle. Now, if only you had posted this a few years ago, we could have planned more appropriately!

TB at BlueCollarWorkman
TB at BlueCollarWorkman
05/22/2013 5:24 am

hahaha, awesome. Don’t get all apology-like for offensive stuff. Your listing off stats. You’re not saying they’re fair or not, you’re just saying them. Life isn’t fair and it isn’t what it should be. It just is. White kids driving in cars don’t get pulled over almost ever. Black kids get pulled over all the time. Sucks, not fair. But there it is. Just like all your stats here. They just are.

Miss Amanda
05/22/2013 5:53 am

Damn, none of these 3 things apply to me! I’ve always wanted a February baby though – guess my subconscious was onto something!

05/22/2013 6:55 am

Family and kids is next on your checklist isn’t it… Just be aware that these topics you need to tap your emotions more than your sweet analytical skills (^O^). – Cheers.

John S @ Frugal Rules
05/22/2013 6:56 am

Wow, you gave me the laugh I needed today. 😉 That picture is awesome…we always joke that’s what our littlest is thinking.

05/22/2013 8:24 am

These statistics remind me of astrology to some extent. You can believe it or not. I still think it is up to each individual to do their best. Is their study for entrepreneurs? There are many more business owners than CEOs.

05/22/2013 8:48 am

You mean I get bonus points for coming in six weeks early to arrive in February! JACKPOT!!

As an aside, for some reason the crying doesn’t seem to work quite as well when I try it… 😉

Missy mayberry
Missy mayberry
05/22/2013 5:35 pm

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a great book supporting this theory. I forget the title, and am too lazy to look it up. Guess which months I was NOT born in…

05/22/2013 6:36 pm

Haha.. I can’t stop laughing at the photo. My names not on the list, oh well… guess I’ll have to work even harder for better pay.

05/22/2013 7:51 pm

Some of these phenomenon were explored in ‘Outliers’ as well, especially the birth date/sport analogy and the naming. As a January baby with a short first name, I think I’m set!

Mo' Money Mo' Houses (@momoneymohouses)

Alright, I’m gonna name my kid Lynn or Doug, I’m gonna have to make babies with someone other than my husband for optimal cross-breading, and will make sure they get born in February. Thanks for the tips! lol You’re posts are always amazing I must say.

05/24/2013 8:48 am


05/26/2013 1:59 pm

This post is great! I’ve thought about this quite a bit when I initially heard those statistics. I think you’re also way more likely to be a hockey player if you’re born in January or February in Canada… depending on what type of child you want. If I eventually have kids, I’m going to think about this way too much and try to optimize them. As a summer birthday kid who excelled in school, I’m hoping I’ll buck the trend, haha.

Yuen Tuck
Yuen Tuck
05/31/2013 2:01 am

Big fan of the mixed race effect here – awesome first step in life. Not so much for the attractiveness as the opportunity to grow up in more than one culture (and sometimes, speaking more than one language).